Sometimes friendships get toxic and you just want to run and hide and get away from it as soon as possible. What if I told you that you can fix toxic friendships or try to work on them?
You don’t have to give up hope the moment things go sour. Even in our own families, we go through trials and tribulations and you still show up to the family gathering as if nothing has happened.
As I grow older, I have reflected on how friendships sometimes don’t work out because people don’t try to work it out or find out why it is not working. It’s just like any other relationship you may have. You don’t just break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend after the first fight. You try to figure out what went wrong and find ways to mend the friendships.
Below are 10 ways you can fix friendships that are going down the toxic route.
- Lay it out all on the table and discuss what has been bothering you, but be careful with your words, and try not to project anger. You want to build the friendship and not break it down more.
- Don’t try to fix all the problems all at once. Pick one problem that is the overarching problem and find a way to fix it. Then move on to the next thing if there is one.
- Find a middle ground. Do not just lean one way to please your friend and don’t lean back to please them. Find a place where both are comfortable and start from there.
- Once you decide to work on the friendship, do not bring up the past. It is what it is. It already happened. Focus on the future and how you can make it better.
- Don’t hold grudges. If you decided to work on the friendship, do not hold animosity towards each other. Think of it as a blank slate with remove for improvement.
- Continue open communication. Sometimes friendships don’t work because you are afraid to hurt each other’s feelings. If you word things carefully, and explain that everything is coming from a good place, it should avoid any misunderstanding.
- Don’t have these conversations via text. Call each other, video chat, Facetime, meet up. Don’t text. So many times things get misconstrued in text and it makes it difficult to understand that person’s vibe.
- Keep your ego to the side. Fixing relationships is all about taking the high road and not being petty. Stick to the mission at hand and keep a tender heart.
- Apologize. Its okay to apologize. It means you are owning up to your mistakes. Also accept apologies. This means you are open to turning over a new leaf.
- Enjoy something fun. Don’t obsess over the negative stuff so much. Think about something fun you both like to do, or try something new with another.
Moral of the story: Friendships are relationships that need to be nurtured and taken care of. Just how you give your significant other chances again and again, you can give friendships a few chances over.
Most importantly, know your worth and know when enough had been done to mend the friendship.