We walked across the bridge hand in hand. The breeze in my hair. The smell of grass and flowers in the air. Everything was beautiful. Everything was perfect. I could tell by the tight grip you had on my hand that you were nervous, but I was nervous, too.
Finally! We could be away from it all. I breathed in the fresh air that now surrounded us. Good bye city life, good bye stress, good bye to my old life. I hugged him and let my head lie on his shoulders. This is what I wanted. This is what I was dreaming about all summer. We were finally alone, just me and him. Away from all the negativity. Mostly the negativity I caused, but that was a different story.
I remember when I first saw him. I had just finished my shift at the restaurant. He was new. I never really introduced myself to new staff because they came and went faster than you could notice they were ever there, but something told me to introduce myself.
“Hey, I’m Alice” I said with a bright smile and extended my hand. You looked at me a little flustered. It was your first day. You were a bit lost. I giggled to myself.
“I’m Sam”, you said confidently.
I did not see you again for weeks. Our schedules were completely opposite but at that point I thought nothing of it. It was not until about two to three months later that we started talking again. Our conversations lasted hours. We laughed, joked, and shared personal life moments with each other. You became one of my greatest friends. I looked forward to our shifts together.
It was not until one Saturday morning shift that you insisted that we go out for drinks after our shift. “Why not”, I thought to myself. I could go for a drink or two. A drink or two resulted in our first kiss. I close my eyes, and I feel the moment replay over and over again. I was so nervous. I made the first move. I was too drunk to think of the consequences. You could reject me. You did have a girlfriend which you kept checking up on every other hour, but that did not stop us. The kiss lasted a lifetime. I am not one for PDA, but in that moment I did not care.
After the kiss, I did not see you again for a few weeks. You were away with your girlfriend. A little getaway for you two, but I did not care. I knew you would be back, and we could pick up where we left off. Unfortunately, that is not what happened. You came back, and it was as if nothing ever happened. I understood not making things obvious in front of our co-workers and boss, but I did not understand the distance when we were alone. I took that as back off. So I did.
Summer started, and I forgot about you. It hurt to think of what could have been, but I kept that to myself. It was only a kiss. Why was I making it more than it was? I spent the summer days under the sun with my girlfriends and some cold margaritas. Every time I had that extra drink, I could not help but think of you. It was not until one summer night that you reached out to me as I was nearing a black out session. I immediately replied. As much as I wanted to hold back and make you feel as if you were old news. I just wanted to be with you.
You ended up meeting me for drinks that night. That was the first night we had sex. It was beautiful. I was drunk, but I remember every single second. I remember how shy you were, and how you wanted to have another round. I did not want to risk being too drunk to remember this moment, so I insisted that we just buy a six pack to go. We got to your place, and I did not hesitate to undress you. You were mine. Nothing was going to stop this moment.
I woke up the next morning in your arms. I had a pounding headache, but I did not care because this is where I belonged. Your phone began to ring, and then I remembered you had a girlfriend. I watched you get up nervously and answer your phone outside of the bedroom. I tried to listen in, but the walls were too thick. I remained in bed and prayed for the best. I was falling for you, but were you falling for me?
After our first time, things became a little weird between us. It was as if we had crossed a line we should have not crossed, and I understood that completely, but I did not want to admit it. I let you go. I never made the first move again.
Now we are on a getaway, away from everything that was keeping us apart, and I want to ask you what made you choose me? I, however, do not want to ruin the moment of the now. I kiss you softly on the lips and smile. You look me deeply in the eyes. Your baby blue eyes, how they melt me every time. I want to tell you that I love you, but is it too soon?
A week ago, you left your girlfriend and told me you were ready to be with me. That you were done with all the games, and that you were tired of hurting me. I was shocked that you even knew what I was feeling because I never told you. I did not want to put pressure on a relationship that had no meaning to you. I was relieved that everything was not one sided.
We agreed to leave town and start brand new. It was so nerve wrecking to just pack up and leave without any hesitation or a single thought on what the end result could be, but I could not help myself. I had to go. I had to take the chance, and here we are one week later. Under the beautiful sun, holding each other. Feeling happy and feeling free. The start of our unpredicted forever.